Lady Lestrange
by Jemennuie
Summary: Bellatrix's life, from her meeting Rodolphus to her descent into insanity and her ultimate end. Two-shot. First-half: Ascent. Second-half: Descent.
1. Ascent

A/N: This is going to be a two-shot. First half is her joining the Death Eaters, second half will be her descent into insanity. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bellatrix, etc.

**Ascent**

Bellatrix does not want to hear her mother's mosquito-whine of a voice enumerating the list of reasons why she must play the proper, perfect pure-blooded lady to the last available suitor they have. When her mother finally brings in Rodolphus Lestrange and introduces him, Bella offers to shake his hand.

A handshake? Not a curtsey? Her mother is horrified at such norm-breaking behavior and only regains her ability to breathe when Lestrange lazily shakes Bella's hand without a word.

.o.o.o.

Lestrange is a mildly acceptable suitor, but her parents seem to believe that 'mildly acceptable' translates to 'perfect.' Almost as though her life has had an acceleration charm cast on it, an engagement ring is hurriedly shoved onto her finger, a wedding dress is promptly fitted for her, and hands hastily shove and drag her down the wedding aisle, until she is no longer 'Miss Black' but 'Mrs. Lestrange.'

.o.o.o.

Rodolphus is lazy. There is neither a more concise nor a more accurate way to phrase it. Bella, of course, is not allowed to go to the ministry and perform his job for him (even though she is sure she could do it a million times better) and instead must content herself with attempting to further her husband's career by inviting her husband's co-workers and bosses for tea or dinner.

After serving the millionth cup of tea she feels sure that one day she will simply start screaming, driven insane by the mundane mediocrity that encages her life.

.o.o.o.

When she enters her manor she is greeted by a frown on Rodolphus's face.

"Why have you been shopping so much?" he asks, his dark eyes glancing between her and a balance sheet from Gringotts.

The bags looped around her wrists silently incriminate her, before she finally crumbles and speaks the truth: "It's my only excuse to the leave the house."

"Well, don't," he states shortly, before leaving the room.

She wonders if now would be 'that one day' where she simply starts screaming and can't stop.

.o.o.o.

Instead, she somehow manages to swallow her feeling that the manor would more accurately be titled a prison and manages to paste a pleasing smile on her face as she serves more tea and more scones to her husband's co-workers and bosses. Never mind that her husband is an unambitious fool that has yet to take advantage of her endless flattering of just about the entire Ministry. Never mind that she's not even sure if her flattery serves a purpose because she's starting to suspect more and more that men will only take other men seriously.

.o.o.o.

Her life receives a change of pace when her father-in-law visits and she is now serving tea and scones to a family member instead of to her husband's co-worker or her husband's co-worker's wife.

Her cup and saucer almost go crashing to the ground when her father-in-law casually reminds Rodolphus that his open invitation to join the Death Eaters is still available, and Rodolphus politely declines.

.o.o.o.

The next day she asks her husband, with a voice as sweet as saccharine, why he decided against joining the Death Eaters (because of course she has heard of them, because they have been covering the front page of almost every newspaper, because they are pure of blood and ambitious and they are going to rule the world someday). His lazy response barely reaches her ear before her pleasant façade fades and she snaps that he must just be too afraid to join.

.o.o.o.

The thought of Rodolphus refusing such a blatant opportunity to climb to the top disgusts her, gnaws away at her brain until it is all she can think about. Because if she is not allowed to satisfy her ambition or have an interesting life, the least that she can aim for is having a husband who will do both for her. It becomes their only topic of conversation, until all she does is taunt him, mock him, ridicule him, scream at him until—

He finally agrees to join.

.o.o.o.

He returns from his first meeting with his brother and father, both who regard Rodolphus with a proud gleam to their eyes that their prodigal son and brother has finally become a Death Eater. Bellatrix serves them whiskey and sandwiches as they boisterously recount the night's events to each other, and her ear stumbles when Rabastan makes reference to 'that Carrow woman.'

"What was Alecto Carrow doing there?"

They seem surprised that Bellatrix has interrupted their conversation before Rabastan casually clarifies, "Well, she's a Death Eater, so what do you think she was doing there?"

.o.o.o.

Bellatrix allots herself twelve hours to consider, to decide what to say, how to say it, and when to say it, before finally broaching the subject to her husband over the next day's breakfast.

"I want to become a Death Eater."

Rodolphus regards her over the top of "The Daily Prophet" before bursting into laughter. He leaves for work without any further response, only a quiet, residual chuckling.

.o.o.o.

When her husband returns from work, he does not even have time to brush the floo's ashes from his robes before she coldly asks, "Why can't I become a Death Eater? Alecto Carrow's one."

"Well she's not married, for one," he states in an obvious drawl. "What if you became pregnant? You couldn't go fighting and putting an unborn child at risk."

"I'm not pregnant, though," she stubbornly states.

"Yes, but it's always a possibility. Your best way to help the Dark Lord would be to raise pureblooded sons for the cause, anyways." He attempts to give her a peck on the cheek but she recoils and leaves the room.

.o.o.o.

Bellatrix allots herself a day to consider, this time. Part of her thinks that she ought to spend longer reflecting, but as her life already crawls by unbearably slowly, waiting more than a day seems like waiting for a day so far in the future that it will simply never exist.

She quickly gets impatient with her own self-imposed time limit, but knows that as a matter of practicality she can't rush this anymore than she already is.

.o.o.o.

The doctor surreptitiously greets her into one of the wards of St. Mungo's that has standard hours and is, as such, closed for the day. Behind her carefully cast glamour charm, Bellatrix's identity is safe as she listens to the doctor's long disclaimer.

"I must inform you that this procedure is irreversible—"

"So much the better," she impatiently snaps.

.o.o.o.

How she manages to wait a whole four months before saying anything (she picks four months because approaching half a year seems unbearable, but any shorter span of time and she is afraid of arising suspicion) she doesn't know, but amazingly those four months eventually pass.

"Rodolphus, we've been married for more than two years, and we don't have any children yet. I think we should make sure nothing is wrong."

He frowns at the topic of conversation, seems worried, but finally agrees to make a doctor's appointment.

.o.o.o.

The doctor respectfully leaves the room to give her and her husband time to deal with the news. She is secretly happy—even if the doctor left it at 'unknown causes' she knows the procedure was a success and that is why she cannot have children.

But Rodolphus looks absolutely heartbroken.

She feels a pang of sadness for him before quickly reminding herself that, really, he brought it on himself.

.o.o.o.

A week later, she broaches the other topic of conversation that she has been withholding for the past four months.

"I want to become a Death Eater."

This time he does not laugh as he surveys her over the top of his Daily Prophet. She thinks that he is to say 'no' again when he finally grunts, "There's a meeting next week you can come to."

.o.o.o.

It is the first time she feels free.

When she uses the Cruciatus curse Rodolphus regards her with a mildly uneasy look and remarks that laughing at someone being tortured is not very lady-like.

She replies that she is no lady and that he is simply too kind, even though when she says "kind" she does not mean it.

What she means is "weak."

.o.o.o.

When she finally meets the Dark Lord he praises her ambition, her strength and her ruthlessness.

When the Dark Lord speaks to her it is the first time in a long time that she feels respected.

.o.o.o.

The manor is no longer a prison. It is a hideout, it is a plotting central. It is where she scours books, learning of and practicing the Dark Arts. The manor is simply where she stays during the day until it is nighttime and she is free to roam under her masked face and hooded robe.

Finally, her life has purpose.

.o.o.o.

It is the holidays, and she and her husband are to make an appearance at her aunt and uncle's house for Christmas dinner.

Sirius must be around twelve or thirteen and he regards her with mischievous, taunting eyes. "I've been reading a _Muggle_ book recently, you know." She pulls a condescending, disgusted sneer in his direction but he continues talking, "The Lady in it, Lady Macbeth, kills someone and goes crazy. Starts hallucinating that her hands are covered in blood. Ends up committing suicide."

"Why are you telling me this?" she disdainfully replies.

He bursts into laughter. "It reminded me of you!"

She wonders if he actually knows that she is a Death Eater before replying in a snarl, "Impudent brat."

.o.o.o.

If Sirius does not show her respect, it seems to be that he is simply reflecting what all of the Blacks think of her.

"Am I to understand that your husband _still_ works for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes?"

"Your sister just married Lucius Malfoy, did she not? I hear he's quite the rising star in the Ministry. I suppose only one successful marriage per family isn't so terrible."

"Why, Bella, at this rate Sirius and Regulus will both graduate from Hogwarts before your husband is promoted even once!"

She starts to feel like screaming again.

.o.o.o.

As soon as they arrive back at their manor, she confronts Rodolphus, hostilely demanding why he is still at an entry level position.

He hems and haws before revealing that his boss seems to be dead set against him, for whatever reason. Bella extracts from her husband the information that his boss is not a pureblood, and when he wonderingly asks her why, her eyes only gleam in response.

.o.o.o.

Rodolphus frowns slightly as his wife, robed and masked, leads him to the house that she has decided they are going to attack that night.

Once the house's occupant is lying on the floor, immobilized and bleeding, Rodolphus reprimands Bella for choosing his boss's house to attack. She impassively cleans her blood-stained hands on her robes before jerking her head towards the still-living body.

"Well, are you going to finish the job?"

Because she doesn't care if she has to murder and maim her way to the top, she is going to be _successful _in at least one sense or another.

.o.o.o.

When her husband's new boss promotes him about a month later, she allows her lips to curve into a victorious smile. Now, she will not only be respected and successful in the nighttime world of the Death Eaters, but also in the more reputable public world.


	2. Descent

**Descent**

Bellatrix cannot believe her ears when is informed that the Dark Lord is dead. Cannot believe that the Death Eaters are disbanding without their Leader. Cannot believe that soon she will once again be nothing but an unambitious man's house-wife.

She refuses to even consider returning to that imprisoned sort of life and, grabbing her wand, swears that she will search the depths of hell if that is what is necessary to bring back the Dark Lord.

.o.o.o.

She does not manage to reach the depths of hell in her search for the Dark Lord. She only finds the Longbottoms, the Longbottoms who are being useless, who are lying and saying that they know nothing, lying and saying that the Dark Lord is dead.

Rodolphus tells her that they should move on, but she can't leave the Longbottoms, can't stop using the Cruciatus curse on them until they stop lying to her.

Even as the Aurors attempt to capture her, her only thought is to make the Longbottoms stop lying, as though that will somehow bring the Dark Lord back.

.o.o.o.

She does not know how long she has been in Azkaban, only knows that every line, every mite, every speck of dust in her cell has unintentionally been engraved in her brain.

Only knows that she cannot tell when she is awake from when she is asleep, because it is all one long nightmare.

.o.o.o.

Only knows that when she hears voices she cannot tell if they are from her memories, her nightmares, herself or her fellow prisoners.

Only knows that one day she wakes up and the stench of blood won't leave her nostrils, but she doesn't know if it's because one of the other prisoners is bleeding to death or because the Dementors are playing their cruel tricks on her again.

.o.o.o.

When she is finally released (released by the Dark Lord and his servants, released because she has been faithful oh so faithful and finally she will be rewarded and given her due respect and finally she will be in power and free again) she is directed to live with her sister and her brother-in-law.

When she reaches the Malfoy's manor she sniffs and tells her sister in a polite voice that she doesn't know what sort of scent her House Elf is using to perfume the manor, but it's absolutely repulsive. It smells like blood, what sort of potpourri is that?

Cissy has an almost scared look on her face as she quietly replies that their House Elf doesn't perfume the manor.

Bella opens her mouth but can't think of anything else to say.

.o.o.o.

That night she wakes her husband with a smack to his arm, asking him if he hears what she does. He grumbles something back but she doesn't hear it, just takes out her wand and whispers that someone is here that some _people_ are here and that they have to be prepared to defend themselves because it could be aurors for all they know.

Rodolphus mumbles again and turns on the light only—

There's no one there. The voices she was hearing disappear immediately the hissing whispering humming muttering murmuring susurrations simply disappear.

"Just a nightmare," she adds her words to the ghostly chorus before trying to fall asleep again.

.o.o.o.

She doesn't tell her sister again that her house is perfumed with the scent of blood, doesn't wake Rodolphus again with whispered worries of phantom voices, doesn't tell anyone that she must be injury prone because how else could she explain the small smears dabs dashes trickles of blood that appear on her hands but don't seem to disappear no matter how many times she casts healing charms on them?

.o.o.o.

The Dark Lord doesn't want his escaped Death Eaters to make any appearances until he tells them to, and it makes Bella feel like she is imprisoned again until he finally calls them to the Department of Mysteries.

"Long time no see, cousin," Sirius taunts her. "If I recall correctly, I predicted that you were going to crazy about twenty years ago, and I seem to have been right."

With a shriek, she attacks him, and it is only after he has gone soaring through the veil that she starts laughing laughing and laughing because she knows what he is referencing, but she is a Lestrange and she knows she will never go mad like that filthy Muggle character in that filthy Muggle book.

.o.o.o.

She was sure so sure she doesn't know why but she was so sure that somehow killing Sirius would make it better but now the walls leak the same color of blood

as her hands

as her wand

as fills the voices of the people

people people who don't exist

She tells herself that once the Dark Lord is in complete power

(no more of that Potter brat half-blood scum who was responsible for the Dark Lord's anguish the Dark Lord's first downfall but would not be responsible for his second because he was not going to lose again)

everything will be better

because she will be

will be

b

e

.o.o.o.

she ignores the

of her 

the doubtworryfear

focuses on the

except when the fear is about her not for her

eventual triumph

focuses on the battle

when everything seems to be

only its hard to hold it in her eye

slipping away

slipping away

away

covered in blood

blood

bl

o

o

d

b

l L D b o L O d

l

l o d

l l l d

l l l l l l l

l

l o L B d

l

o

o bl o o

d

but he's wrongwrongwrong

she's not a

filthy Muggle

going

going

going

the story ends with her suicide

but she's not

filthy Muggle

not going

going

never

kill herself

points her wand

at Weasley girlbratbloodtraitor

stallshesitateswaitspauses

sees attackcursespell

over.

.o.o.o.

Narcissa allows a few tears to carefully carve their way down her delicate face as she speaks. "I can't believe my sister's dead," she whispers. "I hope Weasley sees the blood on her hands." Lucius gently pulls her into a comforting embrace and feels the vibrations of his wife's quiet voice as she continues speaking. "What was the point?"

"Of what?" his deep voice replies.

"Of—of Bella! Of her life, her death! She's dead now, and for what?" More glittering tears slide down the wrinkles of her face.

"She died for what she believed was a valiant cause. I'm sure she would have asked for nothing more." He gently wipes a tear from his wife's face.

"But the Dark Lord died mere moments after she did. It was all—meaningless. Pointless. Nothing but sound and fury and—and nothing else. It means absolutely nothing."

Lucius hugs her tightly, gently rocking her back and forth without saying anything else.

.o.o.o.

_Fin._

.o.o.o.

A/N: I kind of wanted to do a 'House of Leaves' sort of format for some of Bella's thoughts but, unfortunately, this site doesn't support that. Also, at the end Narcissa is paraphrasing Macbeth's quote: "Life…is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury/Signifying nothing."

Constructive criticism always appreciated!


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